A Not So Horrible Twist of Fate
by dr-canis-horriblus
Summary: To Barney, the name of Ted's first child will be the most important thing he'll ever have to decide on. Another HIMYM/Dr. Horrible crossover, this fic tells the tale of how Penny Mosby came to be. The Mother's name is Joanna in this, though her name has not yet been said on the show. First half takes place during 'Symphony of Illumination.'


(Six and a half years earlier)

It wasn't that Barney really wanted to have kids. In fact, it was one of the things he didn't really ever tend to think about at all, and when he did, the consensus was pretty much the same- never in a million years. Sometimes, he thought to himself, never in 83 million years. But it was the second that Robin announced she was pregnant (Or at the time thought so at least) that Barney's feelings on the subject changed drastically..

And on that same day, he couldn't help but feel just slightly excited over the fact that they were going to have a child together, even going so far as to, later in the day, peruse through some baby clothing stores for cute little baby suits and ties.

"So what do think about names?" he'd asked excitedly, filled with the typical energetic, bouncy enthusiasm that he often was, as soon as Robin came to from passing out on the bathroom floor.

"Barney, I-" Robin had started to say, before he interrupted her again.

"Ooh, ooh! If it's a boy, then how about Barney Junior? Or Barney the Second? Man, a child with a name like that would be raised by the hand of awesomeness."

"Barney.."

"And, if it's a girl, we could always go with the unconventional stuff, like maybe Rose, or Silver-"

"Silver?"

"Or Penny!"

And it was at that minute that Robin couldn't get herself to say another word. Few years before Barney had become a full-out hippie, he had lived in California under the legal name of Billy Stinson, and was an overall shy young man who, for some reason, was overtly interested in joining some kind of supervillain club called The Evil League of Evil (Despite how many times Barney had told her about it, Robin could never fathom that it was actually a real thing and not just some cheesy cosplayers club or something to that effect.) But Barney's quest to get into the league had, grimly, resulted in the loss of the very first woman he'd ever truly loved- a woman by the name of Penny.

Barney had tried to bury this dark past as much as he could, obviously by moving to New York and changing his first name, but every once in a while, there still were memories. Painful ones. So it was when Barney suggested the name that Robin realized she couldn't really say much else. If she really was pregnant, and the child was a girl, then Penny it would have to be.

"What do you think? Nice name, huh?" He smiled, although, at this point, it was somewhat difficult of him to when he thought of the inspiration for the name.

"I think so," Robin replied, a small smile on her face as well. Barney sat down next to her. "If you really are pregnant, then that child's gonna be the most legendary thing to ever walk the Earth. True story."

"You do know you're referring to what may be our future child as a thing, right?"

Barney nodded. "Well, yeah, but I put 'legendary' before it, so..it's fine."

And for a few minutes, they both just sort of looked at each other, both feeling the need for a kiss but, in the scheme of things lately (Barney having just cheated on and broken up with Nora, and Robin having just cheated on Kevin), knowing it probably wasn't a good idea. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that got in the way- Marshall knocked on the door just as they were getting closer to it, interrupting them once again.

"Robin, you've been in there awhile, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Under her breath, she sarcastically added, "Paranoid," and Barney smiled at that.

"I'll be out in a minute, Marshall, give me a sec," she told him through the door. Turning to Barney, she said, with a sigh, "How will I ever break the ice on this one?"

He shrugged. "Who knows. The only suggestion I can give you is to just flat out say it- say that you're pregnant with the awesomest child ever! Bring it here!"

Reluctantly, Robin high-fived him.

"That felt kinda.."

"Wrong? Yeah, a little bit."

She opened the bathroom door. "I'll uh..I'll see you later."

"You too." Barney stood up, watching as Robin left the room. Once she was gone, he smiled to himself. "I may be having a kid with Robin Scherbatsky. How did that happen?"

Few years had passed since that day, and in the span of those years, Barney had learned that, firstly, Robin was not pregnant, and secondly, Robin couldn't have kids. Barney had handled that news shockingly well, and resorted back to the fact that he didn't really want kids anyway and that this was perfectly fine with him. As long as Robin was happy, he was happy.

However, it was the day several years later when Ted announced that his wife, Joanna, was pregnant, that Barney felt as though his mind would be changed on that, whether he wanted it to be or not. And he really didn't want it to be. But it was the feelings that, unfortunately, returned once again. The feelings of loss that Barney had felt all too many times in the past- first with Penny, then his own father, then Shannon, and now the same feelings were back, this time over the fact that Robin couldn't have children, let alone really didn't want children, because, even though Barney himself wasn't exactly gung-ho on the idea, it was all so conclusive. Barney just didn't know if he could handle this kind of finality again.

(Present day- 2016)

Ted, as well as the rest of the gang, had known Joanna for a few years now, and they were all very comfortable with her and enjoyed her company, accepting her as part of the family they'd formed as if she'd been there all along. She and Lily quickly developed a close bond, save for Robin, who Joanna also took a liking to and was there for whenever Robin was facing conflict with Barney or anyone else (Which didn't happen all too often.)

It had been about two years since Ted and Joanna had married, and she was currently six months pregnant with their first child, a girl, which was something that both she and Ted were very pleased with.

Ted, several months ago, knowing that this was an important time in all of their lives, had decided to invite the rest of the gang to he and Jo's house in Westchester, but Barney and Robin turned down this offer instantly, claiming they both had 'a thing' to do that night, so Ted, naturally, then revoked the invite, and six months later, sent another one, which stated that they would have cocktail night at his house.

Now, all five of them- minus Jo, who was upstairs at the time- stood in the main room of the house that had long been fixed up since the very first time they visited.

"Ted," Barney addressed, sounding slightly concerned. "You said we would have cocktail night tonight. Where are the cocktails? Or anything else for that matter? 'Cuz the last time I checked…" Barney bent down and picked up a bucket. "Ya can't live on a diet of paint thinner." He placed the bucket down.

"Oh, trust me, there's food," Ted responded shortly afterwards. "With a six-months pregnant wife in the house, you uh…kinda have to have a constant supply of food unless you're prepared for your wife to hit you over the head several times with a baseball bat while asking you angrily why there's nothing to eat."

Marshall nodded in agreement to that. "I get it. Lily actually did that to me once." He continued nodding while Barney, Robin, and Ted just stared at him.

"Oh, except she wasn't pregnant at the time," Marshall added.

"We were just fighting and I felt the need to use our empty fridge as a backup," Lily announced proudly.

"Anyway…we will have cocktails, but for now, we gotta focus on helping Joanna paint the baby's room!" Ted eagerly picked up one bucket of paint in each hand and handed one to Barney and one to Robin, who both looked somewhat perplexed and like they would probably have rather been anywhere else but there at the time.

With a shrug, they followed Ted upstairs to the bedroom in the middle that had been designated to be the baby's room.

Joanna had already painted some of the walls with the rose pink color they'd decided on awhile back, but she hadn't finished per Ted's request that the gang needed to be here whenever they did (according to Ted, this was 'super incredibly' important.)

She greeted them at the door when they arrived upstairs.

"Oh hey guys!" she said as she opened the door with a smile. "You're finally here; Ted wanted you to come like five months ago, but apparently you were busy, which I totally get. Of course..that is, except on the off chance you were lying about that, which wouldn't be good."

Barney and Robin exchanged glances, and ironically, Barney turned to Joanna, lying, "We weren't lying at all."

Joanna looked apprehensive, ignored Barney, and continued, "Anyway, we're just now painting our baby's room, and I'm assuming that you're all probably here to help us, so come in and please get started painting. Emphasis on the please part. We're already running a little late on this whole painting gig as it is."

As they entered the room, Barney asked, "So whatcha guys thinking for names so far? Cuz, if you need help, I've got some pretty good ones."

"Oh, well, uh, since the baby's due in late September, we were thinking maybe Autumn," Ted replied, semi distracted as he took out the paint roller.

"Correction: _Ted_ was thinking Autumn, I was thinking something more unique," Joanna said pridefully, looking at Ted with playful deviousness.

"You were thinking of the name Diamond."

"Diamond is a good name, how many people have you met named Diamond?"

"I've met dancers with that name," Barney interjected. "Certain..kinds of dancers." He looked around awkwardly. Before Joanna had even become pregnant, Ted made Barney agree that he had to cut down on or edit some of the subject matter that he discussed on a daily basis before the baby came, and this was proving, of course, to be a challenge for him.

"I told you." Ted looked accusingly at Joanna.

"My argument still stands." She crossed her arms indignantly.

"Oh, I have a good one for you guys," Marshall spoke up suddenly. "Crystal. You can't go wrong with Crystal."

"Um, last time I checked, we were having a baby, not an element," Ted joked, while Joanna smiled at this corny attempt at humor herself.

Marshall just shrugged. "At least I threw one out there. You can't blame a guy for throwing one out there."

"Y'know, now that we're on the topic of names inspired by inanimate objects and stuff, might I suggest a really awesome one?" Barney looked hopeful that what he was about to say was going to go over well.

"Sure, go for it!" Joanna ran her brush across the wall, leaving a thick streak of rose colored paint on it.

"I know it might not be, like, the most unique name ever, but I've always liked the name Penny." Barney was silent after he had said it, not having any words left to say as he watched their reactions to his idea.

Behind him, Robin's face was a picture of pity and almost sorrow for Barney, who clearly wanted a child named after his long lost love more than anything, as she herself reflected back on the few years before when Barney had also mentioned this at the idea of their child.

"So what do you guys think?" He smiled eagerly. "I mean, you don't have to use it, but…it's a good name, I think." In his head, Barney was thinking to himself, _What is wrong with you today, B- Man? Geez, stop being so Billy and start being more Barney. If they don't take it, then they don't take it. You can deal with it._

Joanna looked at Ted, who answered with, "I don't know, maybe. Eh, I think we might still go with Autumn. It's still really poppin' for me!"

"Right, and Autumn is a great name too!" Barney faked his happiness, in his mind thinking, _Your decision making sucks, Mosby, _as his upper lip turned up slightly in annoyance, a tic that he often occurred whenever he was angry or agitated.

The afternoon passed slowly for all but Ted and Joanna, for whom things seemed to speed by in a blur. All day came the suggestions of names by everyone else, each time, Barney loosely throwing in the suggestion of the name, Penny. Nonetheless, no one said anything about finalizing the name.

Eventually, it was 8:46 at night and the sun had set, so Ted figured that it was time for the cocktails. Finally.

However, it was also around this time that Ted noticed that Barney had gone missing.

"Hey, where's Barney?" he asked after he had handed Marshall a drink in a tall glass.

"Who knows." Lily took a sip of hers. "Probably got bored, maybe ditched and went home, maybe went to some kind of sleazy perv club..ya never know with that guy, but I'm sure he's fine."

"Usually I'd agree with you, but Barney disappearing on cocktail night is pretty unheard of." Robin sounded slightly concerned as she placed her drink down. "I'll go look for him. I hope he's okay, he wasn't looking so good today."

"I'll come with," Ted volunteered, getting up and throwing on a jacket. "If there's one thing the T-Mose is good at, it's leading expert search parties. I once guided a group of lost hitch hikers through the Andes, so I have no doubt that I won't be able to find one vanished man." He looked ever so smug and proud of himself that Joanna couldn't help but smile.

Once he and Robin had left, Joanna stated, "He never guided a group of lost hitch hikers through the Andes. He dreamed he did though. And it's apparently his favorite dream ever."

"We know," Marshall and Lily both said, having heard of this dream from Ted many times over the years.

Ted and Robin had searched the perimeter of the house before it occurred to them to check the back porch- the most obvious place that had somehow slipped their minds. That was where Barney was. He was smoking a cigar, looking off with a troubled expression on his face, blowing out the smoke slowly.

Quietly, Ted approached him. "Hey, are you okay?"

Barney savored the taste of the cigar in his mouth and blew out some more smoke, before answering, "Yeah, I'm uh…I'm fine. Just, y'know, doing a little thinking."

"About what?"

Barney licked his lips. "You know what Ted? I'm not fine. And I'm not gonna lie about that. All those years have passed since it happened, the unmentionable, that incident that I don't ever talk about, and I'm still not over it entirely." He paused. "I don't think I'll ever be."

He continued before Ted could speak. "Before you say anything, Ted, I'll just go ahead and say it- yes, this has to do with Penny. Lately I guess I've been kinda reminiscey. I've had memories. Do I want to? Of course not. But I'm also not in control of that. So you and Joanna shooting down that name every time I mention it? It hurts, okay? Because that stuff is important to me, which apparently is something you don't understand."

In that moment, it all caught up to Ted why Barney had been so stuck on the name. He wondered to himself how he could have been so stupid- obviously the only thing Barney wanted was some kind of acknowledgment, some kind of recognition about this shattering past event, whether it was years ago or not. And Ted just hadn't realized it.

"I'll take it."

Barney turned his head, the light of the porch reflecting in his eyes, glimmering in the tears that were there, just not easily seen.

"Huh?"

"I said I'll take it. The name, Penny. We'll name our first child Penny."

"Ted, no. I mean…you don't have to.."

"Hey, I don't have to do a lot of things. Technically I didn't even have to paint our baby's room, but I did that now, didn't I?" He smiled warmly. "Getting over this kind of thing is hard, no matter how many years between, and I totally understand that. But for you, I'm gonna name our daughter Penny. I think she deserves to be remembered- Penny, I mean- and if this is how she's remembered, then so be it."

Barney, speechless, only stared at Ted for awhile, then leaned in for a hug. "You're the best bro a bro could wish for, Ted," he told him, now sounding slightly happier.

"I aim for it," Ted replied with a shrug.

There was a breezy moment of silence in the night air before Ted asked, "So, you uh..ready for cocktails?"

Barney nodded. "Of course I am. I'm never _not _ready for cocktails. I've only been waiting for this night for, what, like ten months?" He patted Ted on the shoulder playfully.

And with that, they both went inside. Robin had been watching the whole thing from a distance the entire time and was proud that Ted was always there for Barney even when she couldn't be, ready to say the things that she may not have been able to get herself to.

She greeted Barney at the door and they kissed quickly.

Ted had announced the name to the gang, and they all agreed that it was an okay name after all. The rest of the night continued smoothly, and Joanna, who was completely okay with the choice, smiled at Barney and he smiled back. She knew as well as he did what it was like to lose someone close, but in her mind, though she wasn't particularly religious, she also assured herself that, perhaps both of the people who they had lost were watching from somewhere. Perhaps they were both as proud as she was.

Penny was born a few months later, and Barney was closer to her than he had been to Marvin. _Penny Mosby. _It was the nicest name that Barney could think of besides his own, he thought as he held the baby in his arms for the first time. And to him, it always would be.


End file.
